I love my wife dearly, she is the world to me.
I will tell you how it all began. I grew up with my mother, my father died when I was a child, he was a hard working man who left a kind inheritance, we were not rich but we lived well enough. When I was old enough I left home to work, and to find a family. I got a simple job working downtown, I am a middle manager for a rather large company and have been since I was a teen. I am no one special, there are a dozen of me, I could be replaced in a moment and not be missed. Everyday is an exercise in monotony, but if I can keep going I will retire comfortably. One day I went out for lunch, to break from my old routine, I saw a young woman my age, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen before. I have never been a passionate man, but she brought out the romantic in me.
She had messy hair, her clothes were worn, her arms were scarred from work, and the grease from the fryer stuck to her skin. Her manager was yelling at her for some pointless thing. I was instantly and madly in love with her. I have never been a bold man, but something about her drove me to action, I just had to leap to her defense. I could tell he was a generally angry man, but with just a few calm quiet words from me he was silenced and never bothered her again. She smiled at me and I knew I would do everything I could to be hers. I told her I would return to talk with her again. And I did, slowly I felt I earned her love, I gathered my courage and asked her out. I almost died when she agreed.
I made certain that every date was perfect, I did not want to lose this delicate flower. I spared no expense, nothing was too good for her, and never will be. Each time we were together I would suck in my gut and pray no one better took her from me. When she held my hand the universe opened up to me and sent chills down my spine. When we kissed angels wings beat my heart. She was perfect.
I showered her with gifts, each one special in its own way, I wish they could have been more extravagant. She kept them all, that's how I knew she loved me back, they were trinkets but she still loved them. That was the second most incredible thing in my life. The first was when I proposed to her on a candle lit picnic on the fourth of July, I waited for the fireworks to start so everything would be perfect. She deserved so much more from me, but that was all I could offer her. I swore that day to give her everything she deserved.
The wedding was nice, I know she wanted a bigger ring, a better wedding in a larger chapel but I did what I could, even my mother helped with some of the costs. Her mother came and watched us from her chair, poor woman all alone like that, injured in a car accident and all. Still she cried in joy for her daughters marriage to me, she gleefully gave her blessings. My wife got drunk at the reception in a white tent outside, I guess because she was unhappy with the wedding I gave her, it should have been bigger. She was a princess and I could only afford a paupers ceremony. I knew I must make it up to her the rest of my life or she might leave me. She was my sunshine and I would do anything to make her happy.
I got her a better job at a mall selling perfume, now there is no manager to yell at her, no corners to scratch her arms on. I moved her into my small house, it isn't much but it is better than her old one room apartment, some day I will buy her her castle. She works hard cleaning my messes at home sometimes she works so hard her fingers bleed, I am so sloppy, so I do my best to help her out. I clean the messes she should not have to finish, I fix the things she breaks because she is unhappy with me. I do not mind, I like fixing things, maybe because it is a challenge, something I so rarely get to overcome at work.
I send her flowers, and chocolates, and any little gifts I can afford. I do this on days when she is least happy, I hope my gifts are enough to cheer her. I try so hard to improve her moods, but I know I am not good enough for her, she is so beautiful. So I send her little moments of joy as I save up for a trip, a grand trip that will surely make her glad to be with me. Maybe I can finally earn her love so she may love me as much as I love her.
We fight sometimes, as all couples do, I weather her anger, her hatred, her frustration. I deserve every terrible word, every bruise and scratch. She deserves so much more than I can provide her, but I do my best. Eventually she will tire, her anger exhausted on me, I will pick her up, and carry her to bed. I will apologize, I will beg her forgiveness, even as she falls asleep in our bed. I will kiss her goodnight, my heart heavy that I can not be better for her. This only strengthens my resolve to buy her all that I have promised her.
I will spend nights making her happy. I will turn off the TV and I will make the day just for her. I will rub her back, I will give her gifts, do little things around the house I do not normally do for her, things I should do more often. She works herself to exhaustion then accidentally injures herself taking care of me, the least I can do is give her a night to relax, to heal. I don't deserve her devotion. Then we will spend the night talking and joking, enjoying each other. Eventually we will become so tired of laughing that we go to sleep, I know she is happy for a time, but it is never enough, everyday should be like this, but I can not do it. But I can do my best.
She makes little mistakes, but this is only because she isn't as happy as she deserves, because she doesn't love me as much as I love her. Every mistake is small, barely worth mentioning, but she takes them to heart, she beats herself up for them. I myself make mistakes a hundred times larger, and she pretends she doesn't notice, she tries to hide her disappointment in me, but I see through her mask. All I can do is make up for it by being a better husband, by working harder at making her as happy as she makes me.
She is my light, my world, my everything and I thank the universe that I found her, that she agreed to be my wife. Every day I work hard to deserve such a wonderful person. I would do anything to keep her, I save my lunch money, eating crispy peanut butter an jelly sandwiches so that I can afford a great trip for her, like she deserves, it isn't much but it is all I can do. I toil each day in silence knowing that it will all be worth it to see her happy.
Then it happened, I came home, a box of chocolates with fruit in the middle just like she loves. I walked in, careful to put my shoes away, I know how much she hates that. I set the chocolates on the kitchen table and set about looking for her. The house was spotless, her car, just washed, sat in the driveway so I knew she was home.
I checked the pristine living room, she wasn't there.
I checked the freshly dusted basement, she wasn't there either.
I checked the swept garage, the polished kitchen, the mown backyard, and the fresh smelling family room, I could not find her.
Then I checked the bedroom. The door opened with a squeak, I should have fixed that ages ago but I kept forgetting. But there, on the neatly made bed was a note. Atop it was her ring, the best one I could find at the time, but she deserved better, I should have known, she hated it and she had probably left me because of it.
I opened the note with trepidation, my hands were shaking, and it was hard to read through the tears that fell down my cheek. The note made no sense. It said she didn't deserve me. She said she was a terrible person, it said so many negative things about the light that was my world. She said loved me and that I deserved better, but there was no one better than her. No one, she was my angel.
I knew then that I simply hadn't loved her enough. I should have tried harder, this was entirely my fault. I should have seen how much pain I was causing her, maybe then I could have stopped her.